30/06
First, myself living with the couple Mat & Nat. I was failing out of McGill while crushing on an unseen girl. My relationship with Mat was definitely at the silent treatment stage, although he just seemed to want peace and quiet. Nat being over, they spent most of their time hidden. When Mat and I spoke, I was told about his concert, and some partying. Deep down, I was happy he was being foolhardy even though I had no idea if it was affecting his grades. I was secretly happy at the mere possibility that he was going to come down to my level.
Second, back home while mother's away for the evening. Claudia's making a huge honestly unprovoked crisis and generally being spoiled. I feel I give in and up to some degree in my belief that I need sleep and the fact that a girl I'm crushing on, Aly, is being over. We retire to separate beds and with all the ambiguous feelings towards a relationship where I have no idea what making a move would cause. Probably nothing special. Next morning, I find Dan sleeping in front of the computer who's almost dead, poor kid was too scared of his sister to sleep upstairs. I tell on my sister. As things wake up, my world consists of three people: (Mom and the young'ins are presumably out of the picture) My brother and Pam, his girlfriend, and Aly, who seems to be with them. My brother feels all important ever since my fall, and his girl potentiates that at least a little. The night before I was accused by my sister of chewing pot leaves, which I dismissed as ridiculous, possibly the reason for her crisis. This morning, probably because my sister told him, my brother makes the same accusation. The only difference is that his word holds a lot more weight than my sister's and even more so ever since my fall. My mother would believe him simply because he's contradicting me, not to mention pot being central to my fall. I feel it would be grossly cost inefficient to try and convince my mother beyond a doubt that I truly have no attraction to cannabis. The truth is I have come to accept that there is a cognitive deficit, albeit reversible, associated with it's _use_, and cognitive ability is first and foremost one of my most important priorities. Therefore, it would be contradictory to my nature to still want pot after I've come to accept it's 'blunting' effect. My mother's image of me, however, is, in practice, very difficult to change.