"The line is wiggling wildly these days. I mean I know I ought to be good, eat healthy, work hard, etc. but what happened to having fun? I didn't used to feel guilty about such stupid things as wanting to watch TV or buying some song on iTunes. Not to mention feeling guilty about downloading music off limewire, but that's a whole other story.
The worst part about it is I don't even feel wrong about indulging in the insanely time-consuming fantasies that are spinning out of control. It's all ups and downs, highs and lows, and I've been serious for at least half a year. I like what who I want to be likes, but all these interests are so fleeting when I don't have a mirror to reflect them. I mean, alone, I find myself empty and without hobbies or interests.
Well, it's not all cries and complaints. Whining is easy, letting it out's probably alright. They say that, for sure, so posting it is one step further than letting it out in private to a text file . I had fun, this summer, too. Moving 4 times wasn't fun, but my roommates were cool and the hip show in July was so worth it. Now there's another one in November, and I totally want to go even though it's like twice as much as it used to be.
Music is so my obsession these days, too. I've been serious all this time, I forget exactly why. Part of it must be that I'm trying to be a better student, etc. Busy with this two-bit part-time delivery job, which I know I can do better than, but the money (tips) is sooo good, probably the best salary I can get for sure! I'm just worried about what my CV will look like after graduation, with my no interships but rather a steady pattern of all my free time and then some spent at
this grocery store."
The lesson is don't spurn songs! The limewire guilt is sooo annoying, part of growing up? It's like I think acting as if everyone always knows exactly what I'm thinking, what I'm doing or have done, especially relating to their property, makes me a better person. But living this way, it's not exactly the go-getter's attitude, more like mr.nice guy.