As I looked into her eyes, I felt the weight of the consequences of the coming decisions rippling backwards from the future.

I recognized her on a completely different level than two people meeting again after having seeing each other at a party. Although I probably had, my left brain would say, and romanticizing all this is probably not the best course of action (and neither is thinking about the best course of action).

"You're too young to have a girlfriend," I sometimes think I would have told myself.
"Sticking to your studies is really the best career move for you right now."
"She's your friend's ex," is the stickler my morals cling to my sense of what's best in the worst way.

It comes down to being able to do it, if I want. My conscience would like my younger self to know things could have been different, but ultimately my decision balances out the better possibilities. My decision won't let me wallow in the squalor that is how things could have been..