Thursday, October 19, 2006

The case for (tel)empathy:
I'd like to begin with a joke, comparing the concept of telepathy as we all know it, (hearing other people's thoughts) to something as real as quantum physics, for example. I often read proofs of the form, since this would model exactly, for all intents and purposes it can be considered that which it is modelling.
If someone could imagine what you're thinking, then there would be little difference between that and actual telepathy. So, try and imagine what people are thinking. Find out if you were right, when possible. The better you get, the closer you'll get to telepathy.
Well maybe not, but it's probably a thoughtful way to live. Real telepathy, wouldn't it improve the quality of life? Less accidents, less misunderstandings.. Everyone's heard of brainwaves, right? I've heard two brains close together oscillate at the same rate. How much information can those waves carry? It doesn't have to be a lot, when things get down to the cellular level (i.e. neurons). Chaos theory is fond of quoting it's butterfly-causing-storms scenario, and while my brain is probably more organized than governed by chance, little static fields around my hair could send little electrical signals (how cells communicate) which can easily be amplified 1000 times over by metabotropic G-proteins.
So maybe all the information stored in the brain can be transmitted this way, visuals, memories, etc.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

She told me to stay behind because she was in a hurry. I thought I was faster than her so I didn't listen..
I caught her drive and went until the first stop. I didn't have to hide so much since she was so focused on driving fast. I stopped at an island where she rushed into a apartment building. I kept up with her quite well as she rushed up the stairs even though I had to keep my distance because I can't get caught and she's starting to watch her back.
Ran into an old friend and I think I should stop and talk. I don't want to because she's getting away but not wanting to be rude wins and I stop to make small talk under pressure, he's diffident but friendly.
Next thing I know I've lost her. I start to panic. I go up the stairs all the way to the top of the building but she's gone.
I want to look through the building more thoroughly but I know I'm also not even supposed to be there. I notice that every door I open is a student's, so I ask my friend if this is a student residence. He says that it's for the an exclusive french school, St-Isites something.
I start going faster to find her but there are people milling everywhere and she's impossible to find in the crowd. A girl with dyed red hair standing beside a guy moves to talk to me, stops me, furiously furrowing her forehead, calling me out.
I agree because, well, a kiss is a kiss. I take her, but it's clumsy and wet, the best part being when she approaches nearer. I stop and give her advice. I'm like, no, "Less kissing, more body pressing", hahahaha.
Anyway, I let her get back to whatever, leave and realize that I've lost her. I'm stuck on the island, nowhere to go for who knows how long. My panic is now about whether I'll ever be able to leave. The students are all getting ready to leave and are waiting with a purpose. I think about asking my friend about going where they're going but I hesitate out of pride and lose him too. The only place that's familiar is the building I'm not really welcome in anyway. Hanging around earns me a notice and the owners of the building, probably the adults in charge of the school, put me to work.
As it gets dark I'm about to work my first shift and seal my subservience to them forever.
Before I do though I stall and walk around. I manage to group a few people who agree with me after dark (or when the power goes out). They might want to leave, but they feel accepted enough that it's unlikely they'll act on it.
I leave and go out. It's now a warm sunny day but my panic keeps me from feeling any of it. All the students have gotten on their buses and left. There are a few parked cars, but not enough. I would probably get caught if I tried to steal one to escape.
I spot a privately owned cabin near the building. It's a lot closer than I thought the nearest house was when I'd looked around in the crowd the day before. The cabin has a large underground part only visible to the top as a roof over the ground. Probably won't be welcome there either but it could be abandoned.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

So the limewire guilt, part of growing up? Nowadays I just don't talk about it with anyone, 'cause it's bound to a) make me look weird, b) not lead anywhere. I can basically sum it up by it's like acting as if everyone always knows what I'm thinking, what I'm doing or have done, especially when relating to their property, makes me think I'm a better person. But living this way, it's not exactly the go-getter's attitude, more like mr.nice guy.
I used to download so many songs, movies, whatever I could get my hands on, a long time before it was popular. I'm talking like almost 10 years ago, when there weren't mp3 players and the cool kids didn't even have computers. Before napster got busted, I'd burn mix CDs like there was no tomorrow. Then I got busted, got scared a little right before I moved out, went a little too far, moved back, moved away again, started out smart enough, if a little too social, then fell right back into holier-than-thou-sobriety. Phew.. That was a long sentence..

It's just so strange, though!
Well I haven't exactly died in my sleep (how would I know?) but I've been hurt pretty badly twice.

The first time was like 1+ years ago, I had a dream I had to outrun some wolves to leave this house I was at. I tried once, and they got me, I blacked out, and started over right where I had been (weird, I know.. I was too pissed off about losing any potentially 'unsaved changes' i.e. what I had just done to ponder the philosophical ramifications).

It really hurt, though! The wolf jumped and bit me right in the abdomen. I had blinding pain and blacked out, woke up after the third time, after trying to talk to the dude at the house. (I foolishly decided to go without food that night, and totally got hunger pangs _exactly_ where the wolf had bitten me).

The last time was only just recently, like last week. I was at my lame part-time grocery delivery job (which I stay at even though I could do better, what with being in uni and all 'cause it pays SO GOOD! Few $$ per delivery, 30 odd deliveries per shift, you do the math) when this new guy was giving me undermination (undermining me) so I was like fine, I'm out of here (my shift was done anyway).

So I leave, duck into the side door of the store which leads downstairs, even though it's not my department (fruits and vegetables). Suddenly a guy comes out of the f&v room with an automatic uzi covered with a rag (is that supposed to silence it?) and shoots me 3 times in the right chest. Ow! I woke up right away. I was like, they can't fire me, so they kill me?! (I have this theory that the lower in the business world the business, the shadier and more gangster like the politics of it are.

Most recently I dreamed I was swimming with a girl .. nothing to do with dying, that girl was hot though.
Performing is so my dream... I have too much too lose, though, or maybe I just don't believe in it enough.

You kind of need a band or an audition for that kind of thing, too, I think. And a lot of time to devote to writing and just plain being creative.

I love drawing before bed, mainly because I believe it sets the theme for my dreams (I fantasize waaay too much) which in turn I believe sets the theme for the following day.

I'm glad I started recording my (better) dreams about 2-3 years ago. Conscientiously doing so has definitely improved my dream memory, which is fun, just because.
I used to blog them at adolflow.blogspot.com, but that's time too.

It's school, which is like crunch-year (crunchtime.. mmmm.. crunch.. and a little eww) 'cause I'm spsed to graduate this year. I really want to keep studying too, so I have to be good 'cause my first year wasn't all that.

It's also this part-time job, which is so demanding, I'm sure because you don't really need very many good qualifications or experience to work in a grocery store, so I have to shine in a completely different kind of way than just being smart like at school. Like being humble and deferrent to your bosses to make them like you.. Not used to it.

Let's see what my last dreams were about.
Unsurprisingly my favorite dreams are the ones where I win some girl over...