It all started when I was home alone and I started getting strange clues that someone was getting into my apartment. I would be sure noone was home, but then I'd find a pack of food out of place, etc. I was getting scared, 'cause why was someone in my house? What were they waiting for to make their presence known? I mean, the only thing that they could be waiting this long for (to actually get hungry waiting and have to take some of my food) would be something they didn't want me to know about.

So I got the bright idea to have a sleepover and invite lots of people. My two roommates came, and they invited their friends, and the night passed by quickly 'cause I didn't really know them so I didn't really talk to them (not social, I know). I was so happy when I realized you were there, though! It was near the end of the night (3-4 in the morning) and you were lying in my roommate's room. I'm sure it would have been fine for you to crash anywhere, but I wanted you to sleep in my room, and since you were my friend I thought it was for sure you would have to.

[Note: I often do things in my dreams that are "childish" or 'impulsive', like giving in to my desires without giving them much higher thought. In retrospect I find the way I 'forced' you to wake up and come sleep in my room wrong and borderline antisocial since the most social people I know don't focus on one person but let people be themselves. Maybe I missed out on the opportunity to sleep with someone who was still awake and interested in me and wanted to talk and hold each other or something. Sorry for the sex.]

So I put you in my room. I went back out to find a friend of yours who was still awake and wanted to sleep (it was arranged for my room). When we came back you were on my bed but sideways so we didn't have place. So I had to wake you up again, and this time we got ready for bed (brush teeth, etc.) You were on the far left, then your friend, then me. I thought I knew the friend, but it wasn't the only person I could think of since she was much older. I was disappointed 'cause I wanted to sleep next to you. [Again, in hindsight, I wasn't thinking of your bf obligations at all.] You just gave me a look, like, 'it's for the best'. So we fell asleep, and the last thing I said before we were supposed to fall asleep was, 'Mmm, wouldn't it be good to have some of that cake they had earlier?' (One of the people had made a cake and there was lots left) and I turn to look at you and you both are like, 'what do you mean, THIS cake?' and you were both EATING SOME and offering me some!! I refused even though I wanted some lots. I wanted to go back on my decision but I have this thing where if I make a decision I find it really hard to trust someone enough to let them know I changed my mind. Then I thought, I'd have to brush my teeth again, etc.. So I basically just wasted your time wanting some and having you try to convince me to let you give me some.

Finally after falling asleep I regained my confidence and started flying (literally levitating two feet off the ground) from my room to the kitchen super fast. Unfortunately when I got there I noticed a bag of popcorn in the microwave, unpopped. This was after everyone was gone, so I started getting really scared the intruder from the beginning was back again. Then I woke up.

Recent dreams (copied from notes)
Feb 17 2007 - March 11 2007

Breaking into PA's empty highrise, running into someone carrying a TV. Panicking while holding and knowing the cops are coming. Working for my sheets.
Recently breaking out of prison.

In prison.. They're busting an animal out right after he and I got convicted so I can come too. I should place a a playing walkman by the phone in case they call to check out while I'm escaping. The breaker-in has to face major hurdles. A guard (who wakes up from the tranq right and and offers hints for the next) a snake and a fog after. Can't seem to hit the snake w/ the tranq.

I'm really scared of getting caught. The prison psychologist comes to pay me a visit (like he'll do every day), I get cable and am watching a show, the simpson's, where homer has a monkey on a rope, who gets twisted and becomes an antennae or something. Homer takes credit for going that on purpose. That's when the psychologist comes in, asks me about the show, what do humans want to be (if not animals). I don't answer, others animals are in balls like antelopes, now brains are in them. He leaves, after saying, "Welcome" and meaning it, etc.

I set up and everything and get really scared 'cause if I get caught I'll lose more (cable, phone) and surely be watched closer against further attempts to break out. Go to work (catching the bus gets me off the island). JP strangely nice (reads my mind for a Q I was going to ask). Also smoke pot w/ people 'cause I didn't want to miss/lose track of them. (I knew this was the first time in like 3 years (felt like more) and I really didn't want to.)

BTW escaping was returning to the life in the mob. As I was following an older guy in another car, he lets me patrol the next street. When I decline and go though an alley to finish the job I had (celine, sp?) he says, " Well, you're going to have to find your own territory if you don't want to do this here." (the if before the then). And I remember how scare/hard finding my own territory is.
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March 5th 2007

First long dream where Dan has an episode on Datura (not really, but I don't remember the reason he wasn't himself).

He just kept asking for the drugs until we met up w/ Matt again.

Swam across from Mtl to Nun's Island, and mat's like, "too bad, it is super toxic."

Getting him away from the party solved his asking me for drugs. but going back w/ Matt now in charge.

I wasn't exactly 'cool' and asked a question which got no answer.

In the other room everything is there (except for me, matt, Dan and a better friend of the host [looked like Dana]) (he's who I asked).

Other room: people (I'm afraid of) are Rachel and her friends lost of ppl inl. guys. Playing video games (think maybe risk, but the fights are real). Noah's in the bathroom and Rachel's getting beat up.