25/07
Super sad that I had to ditch the PA van in front of KC's house, which he'd shown me earlier that dream: It was a duplex-condo, like 2379 Duvernay but in a much hillier neighbourhood, definitely QC. I think it was the the Fontenay neighbourhood farthest from my place, but had overtones of Soto's Chemin Ste-Foy place. His place was nice but I declined his invitation/follow-through with the plan in my usual 'don't-want-to-accept-anything-from-anyone' attitude. He went in, and he seemed to watch a movie. I had to ditch t he van out of fear after something terrible happened to it, like it being stripped for parts (ie, the tires.) Ran around the backyards trying to get away from the situation ASAP, but kept running into people. I kept my best air of belonging but deep down I was scared and sad/disappointed in myself for lettincg it come to this.
The life of a cat. Sad, unwanted and alone. Fiercely efficient but only one.
After seeing the cats outside my window, I dreamt that I was part of a team of cats that was storming the fortress of an evil mummy. I could fly and had to go back to change weapons which seemed effective in the end. The sad ending was failure or disappointment.
Midday dream about extracting DMT, just enough for one hit, from a little of my MHRB. Poured it into a smoking position but woke up before I did. Felt like I wasted.

Of course, there are many theories as to why we dream. Science is hard pressed to actually explain the rapid eye movements associated with them, though. First I believed it was simply a by-product, a reflexive action that our brains would eventually learn to correct, if only for the sake of efficiency and not wasting energy.
I was giving this some thought last night, though, and I remembered readnig in some Psych texts that you can tell if someone is lying if they look at their upper right visual field before answering, since that (in theory) meant they were accessing their right brain (the creative) to make up a lie.
In this light, I suppose the flitting eye movements are probably not due to to looking or processing information faster than waking but to accessing different parts of the brain as fast as waking while letting the eyes follow their default action since they are not being used for sight.

REM sleep
Has anyone figured out the purpose of rapid eye movement during sleep? Certainly, it's an indicator of dreaming, but why the darting eyes? Are we actually looking at the back of our eyelids? Probably not. More likely, our visual cortex is being stimulated by what we 'see' in our dreams and flickering eye movements are a by-product of the action of shifting our visual fields in our mind's eye (whew..) Sort of like some of the movements we might make in deep sleep. So why are they so fast? I mean, it is called rapid eye movement. Are we seeing things at an accelerated pace? Do we then process, make decisions and likewise think faster in deep sleep? Is this a primordial way of thinking, where a split second meant the difference between life and death?

Shamanism and occult insight
It's interesting to note that any real insight or relationship with a visionary plant is realized mostly through habit. That is, one must forsake novelty and build a routine surrounding this plant to reap any of the benefits (which are, paradoxically, novel ideas.) Makes one think about nomadism and sedentary lifestyles, and how that applies to contemporary culture.

What's wrong with consensual reality:
1.) The environment. Is climate change a reality? 'Course I wouldn't mind if everyone would stop driving, either..
2.) The drug war. I'm told that the rehab costs are the reason behind outlawing mind-altering substances. There would probably be less crime if there was a 'no shoes, no shirt, no service' rule to buying drugs.
3.) Poverty. Financial, physical and spiritual. Children die everyday.

Catharsis.
It took me a while to find a summer job after that, I must have gone to at least 15 interviews that were either referred or related to school. After a certain waiting period, my mother's worries that I wasn't going to find a job and her remark that the local variety shop was looking for a clerk (which I know about of course, but I considered beneath me) finally made me apply, and get the variety shop clerk job. It was a pretty unmotivating job, but I was looking forward to the school year. To my dismay (I sort of saw it coming as the position I occupied was highly replaceable) they told me I didn't do it for them after two weeks (which coincided with the guy I was replacing returning from his vacation.) Through some great (my most fortunate one to date) synchronicity, I found a job, and started working even before I would have started the next work week at my old job. It paid more than any of my old jobs and was very enjoyable. I kept it during the school year.