Dreamt that I had a gf who in hindsight had similar characteristics as Eve from high school. I was part of the FF, we got a long somewhat. I was her favorite, but she wasn't 'perfect' for me, so I drove her to flirt with other guys. In the meantime I tried to have hobbies, Karate that didn't really take that one time.

Current Indie Playlist

Here goes the name-dropping:
-The secret Machines
-School of seven bells
-Ronski speed (not really indie, but still)
-Plusminus
And..
-Stars

Posted with LifeCast

Mental Turret's

Like I can't stop thinking obscene things. Does anyone know good meditation techniques or ways to quiet the mind?

Posted with LifeCast

Good One

Posted with LifeCast

My suggestions for improving the economy revolve around the topic of sustainability, as a lot of my ideas have for a while. I don't know why I'm so worried about where we'll be that far down the road but it seems to me that if we don't make sure every aspect of our lives is getting better, then things like the economy can really bring you down.
Basically as a means of improving local economy I would tax imports a lot more. Imports such coffee and bananas might be sorely missed, but on the other hand perhaps it would get people thinking about the people on the other end involved in the production.
Also, we might find homegrown alternatives, ultimately becoming more independent and therefore sustainable.

I am little overwhelmed with everything going on in my life (and sometimes the lack thereof), it's almost like I'm going through a mid-life crisis. The polarity between my mom and dad is nothing new, and now that I live closer to my dad and I'm trying to spend more time with him I'm losing touch with my mom a little. My dad on the other hand is very difficult to get a long with, even just trusting him is sometimes tough for my paranoia.
In my personal life too, though, I'm going through a bit of a crisis of faith. I can't really say I identify 100% with the way I was raised, and none of the mainstream other faiths call out to me as the one true one either. I really like my internet habit, but the problem with my eco-friendly, 'green' perfectionism is that it doesn't leave any room for pleasure.. In other words if I'm not making money (and that's questionable enough as it is) then the use of any resources (whether I pay for them or not) is not justified. Sigh.. I hope I figure it out one day..

Amsterdam pics!

I have to find the balance between perfectionist discipline and hedonism. I love not allowing myself any pleasure and channeling the resulting anger into work, and most of all I like the confidence that I'm doing the right thing, and that this is the best thing I could be doing for the environment and everyone.
I also like the way things were when I was a little more level headed though. I used to rewArd myself like a normal person, and I wasn't always living for tomorrow. Standards change with age I guess, and in some ways I have it pretty good no matter what I'm doing.

Invention of the week: Car and Dryer combo

I mean, cars always generate excess heat right? and the turning motion of the wheel I'm sure could easily be adapted to a dryer in the trunk..

Had a good summer so far, but now it's like all the avenues I was pursuing are splitting apart from each other and I have to choose what I want to do. Only problem is I'm still not sure which is the best course of action. I'm applying for graduate studies, but at a different school which ended up being more complicated than I thought, so I think I missed the deadline for this semester. Then I'm trying to figure out work and if I should focus on my job or try and find a better one. All the while thinking about meeting someone, and if and when I'll move..

Yesterday I listened to an episode of Podcastle titled "the cup and table" and it really got me thinking. It's about a guy who works for the bad guys but ends up alone with the Grail and a wish to make.. Now I'm sure everyone remembers thinking about whAt they would wish for if they won the lottery or whatever, but I don't know if it's thing I'm going through with grandeur scopes of religion and philosophy, but if it was just me and time stopped and part of my wish had to be bringing the world back to the way it was, I'd want a perfect memory, long life, and the ability to try everything. (Sorry if this isn't the easiest of concepts to relate.)
Now, when there's nothing else how can you think about yourself? Of course I'm tempted to be selfish, and wishing for someone's companionship is what the guy in the story does..

Dreams recently have been on the whole spectrum from so good I feel too satisfied to write them down waking up to just mediocre (feels like extra waking time) to bad ones (ants crawling everywhere, not knowing the answer to questions)

Being a sellout is usually a bad idea, and changing your tastes about popular trends, i.e. jumping on the bandwagon, is not something I find attractive. I consider myself someone who takes ideals seriously, with clear likes and dislikes.
That being said, there is something to be said for being realistic. I used to be a lot less attracted to popular culture at all.. And a lot less concerned with the environment. How much is due to the changing state of the world and globalization and how much to my coming of age it's hard to say.
I wonder how much my realistic side (which is all often seeming to knowingly say, "You should treat yourself") is at fault for my feeling of coming short of my perfectionist goal, and how much of it is I should have waited, and the moment will present itself, like it sometimes does..

My job interviews went well today, I feel bad for everyone who is helping me dream so much, my dreams these days are so bland.

Really digging the new iPod firmware. I must have signed up for at least 5 new accounts on social media nets since I got the new apps. Clowdy is pretty cool for sharing photos, for example: www.clowdy.com/u/adolflow

Feeling a little childish, like I forgot to get what I was sent on an errand to get and I don't want to face the music.
The synchronicity I had with wanting a song (Oakenfold - Zoo York) while the emusic website was down then hearing it at the end of a podcast (DJ Spyhunter - Rise and Fall) continued into weirdness with the song I just bought (Pixies - Where is my mind) playing after another podcast (Blacklight in the attic) that I was having a hard time liking, for some unknown reason. Working on my social skills, I guess I don't want to feel superior in retrospect, even though their imagination requires breaking the (unfair) rules. I feel like even trying to relate by saying I once wanted what they want is wrong because it's implying I'm better (superior) now. I'm spoiled by this great novel (Rainbow's End) I'm reading.
It's probably obvious but I'm trying to be less superior so hard 'cause its my resolution for July.

I want to use the iPhone sdk to make a small-scale RPG for the iPhone and iPod touch. Nothing like WoW, but low-RES graphics and mostly story-oriented.

My top ten podcasts available on iTunes (shamelessly written while listening to said podcasts):
- Beatport
- Escape Pod/Podcastle
- The sound culture
- Psychedelic Salon
- Psychonautica
- The Moth
- You look nice today
- Remix.Nin.com
- CBC Ideas
- Just Good Music

Reflections on the airline industry
After working for an airline for a year, I learned many interesting facts that aren't usually obvious. For example, it appears there is almost a conspiracy surrounding the attitude and intent of the major airlines. Anyone who has a frequent flyer or mileage card knows that some cards can be used with other airlines, but not all. The major airlines are divided into 2 groups: the government ones (Air Canada, Us Air, American) and the Geographical (?) ones, i.e. Northwest, Continental.

OK, because I told people to look here for more 'about me', here's a little more about me: I'm a 26 yo recent McGill grad, currently working for NW Airlines at YUL. It's not much, but there's some nice travel benefits. Social networking apps, you name it, I have it. Facebook, twitter, MSN, aim, ad nauseum.. I don't have a pic on here but I'm sure there's one somewhere below
Heh, I guess most of the rest of the posts between the really early ones (which are dream reports) and this one are personal, so I attribute the change to the "resolution of the month". On New Year's I not only made a new year's resolution but I made mini resolutions for each month. (June is "be friendly" month.)

Well I guess it's back to work for now, but the countdown is on until I can trade shifts and have at least 3 or 4 days off in a row! July 21st.. Now the question becomes where to go? I have never been overseas, so I want to visit either Asia or Europe. Europe is easier and nicer, I think, but more expensive too. The main problem with going to Asia (probably Tokyo, Taiwan or Beijing) is the language barrier. Any suggestions?

I'm experiencing a little philosophical dissonance with the undercurrent of both flight and psychonautica 38.. Matter matters, right? It's just they (and so many other spiritual, meditation, etc. sources) so strongly emphasize that the ego and/or material existence is not important. From what I can understand the universal source of "life" is what behind each one of our egos, and what these sources try to emphasize. I rebel, however, because although my ego isn't perfect, I always hoped to bring my identity with me to the stars..

Seeing as how I haven't written about dreams in a while I thought I'd update on what I've been scribbling down half-awake..
1dec: I dreamt that school had a huge (secret?) pyramid-like building which housed lions, gorillas around the basement (no cages). It's like an American city, there's a marathon going on but letting everyone else go first gets me onto the raft. 'Small field' prof tells me encouraging words.
7dec: Can't believe I dreamt only about work-related scenarios! I was working in my dreams!
10dec: Prof asking when I was going to fulfill my dream of going to medschool, letting me answer only to realize if I went it would take so long to graduate I'd be in my late 30's.
28dec: At school, no sooner had I committed to a Chinese girl that I'm already regretting looking at a blond going upstairs.
2jan: Flying after doing one last delivery for PA, taking the tip even though its 5 hrs late. So, flying down the hall, right eye is going out of focus?
11jan: "Train dream w/ R and D, train hopping after its very late, not breaking the 'rules', break door at end, like wow, lose honor.
29jan: Bringing little lions for trade acrosse desert.
1feb: Playing a star wars RPG in DTW, yes I'm in Monkey form.
18feb: Traveling to meet people in a Cape Cod cottage. It's a judge' and there is a trial taking place. I crash land somewhere and go visit them. They have a daughter my age who is nice enough and we share everything nicely. Her older sister is a hot blonde who I make out with nicely.
2apr: Dreamt that locals were asking me to pick funny looking veggie because they believed my judgement is good luck, because of a lie I regret telling?
19may: Dreamt that I was suddenly responsible for my siblings.
20may: Someone fires a gun which keeps on shooting.
7jun: Around world w/ R. Stop at train station to talk to Boss P. AMS, DXB then direct flight to anytown USA?

I expect I could well use the income from a highly successful corporate type job, the passion or lack thereof, not to mention ideological differences notwithstanding. I understand most people mean well at the start and that there is a fundamental contradiction between the noncomformist and the richER. That being said, however, clearly I can find goals that are neutral in ethics and still require $. Like space exploration, hard climate isolation and so on. I'm somewhat running in circles with the issue of ideaological association and how its supposed to be lonely at the top

Sometimes it feels like I'm walking the fine line between egocentricity and intelligent sensitivity towards silent body language. 'Course, as with most people I think I've developed quite a knack for detecting whether someone likes me or not (especially when it comes to someone from the opposite sex), but if these body language 'conversations' go on for longer than intended (possibly due to shyness on my part) then it opens up a huge gray area for interpretation. Seems like my mind wastes entirely too much time speculation on why other people act the way they do, when it would be so much simpler just to ask them! But, my ego being what it is, finds it simpler to steer any and all speculation about other's opinions of me in a firmly protective if not positive direction, removing the need for any actual ice breaking.. Resolution for the month of June: Be more social.

P.S. Them's not ads in the white on the right hand side, they're my shared items from google reader, where the other 99% of my online time goes.. ;)

Sigh, sooo satisfied.. Not sure I'm being as disciplined as I should, but once a week I go overboard: information bingeing..

Sometimes I think I might be trying too hard. I mean I go to ALL the job interviews I get. In and of itself I think that's fine, maybe I shouldn't apply for the jobs I don't want. Ok enough about what I would have twittered.. (Hint, hint.. I'm adolfonp on there)

The first thing that comes to me when I think of that number, in order:
1: The first, the best
2: Dislike this one since it reminds me of being 'second best'.. I like being the leader
3: Reminds me of "Why?"
4: Work
5: Police
6: Used to be, you know, _evil_.. Now trying to spruce up its image by changing the 'i' to an 'e'
7: Luck
8: The symbol for eternity
9: Internet
10: One shot
11: Change
12: One
14: Artificial Intelligence
15: 15 minutes of fame
17: Last
18: 7
19: My b-day!
I know, very subjective!

Sometimes I feel like I'm missing something.. Since it seems like often I don't do anything when I should be doing something. People I've talked to suggest that I should get a hobby, or try to make friends.. I think they're partly right, I'm missing the social aspect of it.. I think thais not all, though, as I often like being alone. I think I'm missing something like the social aspect of being in a church.

Some notes about recently..
I see our evolution going in the direction of "augmented reality". Better perception, enhanced by creation. Being able to "see" sound waves, our mind's eye focusing into letting us draw on our FOV.
My budget is ok, I haven't had to dip into my savings but I'm worried at my laziness with respect to budgeting mirroring the major financial debt I once got into.
These days is close to "good times", although I'm sure I'm influenced by the freedom of my days off.
I'm still recording my dreams, they're interesting.
I'm not so anxious to get the iPhone, rather the software updates.
So I've been thinking about the spectrum of the forces of physics, in my attempts to fly with the power of my mind alone. Electrical force is much stronger than gravity, the only problem being that on the whole objects on the stellar scale (i.e. the earth) are neutral. What if instead of only 2 charges, positive and negative, white and black, we found a spectrum of charge? Not like the single attractive force of gravity. Maybe there's an even stronger force with more possibilities for charges.
19apr: waking up in the middle of the night cause someone being "shadow people" dropped something. Talking I can tolerate but careful!
Overall pretty happy w/ my body

My efforts to go green
This winter I began to get borderline obsessive in my efforts to save the environment. Ever since I graduated, the need for using my computer diminished, so although I found myself wanting to turn it on to check RSS and such I now limit myself to only using my computer on days when I don't work (since I can check my email anyway).

Pictures of my Hawaii trip at pages.videotron.ca/adolflow !

Started sunday after work (overtime), yqb Monday mornin', guilt, dtw easy, msp brokedown, sea late.
After hours walking home, felt bad about not calling her, swam in public Waikiki at 3 am.
Tuesday Mary took me out to breakfast then to diamond head. I went all around and came up the beach side into the army compound. Walked home that night and had cereal for a snack.
Wednesday I went to ala moana and then to the movies to stay out of the sun since I was sunburnt.
Thursday I went to sea life park and learnt just how strong the current can be when I tried to swim out to a little island.
Friday I went to the north shore, it was awesome getting thrown around by the surf. I watched another movie at night.
Saturday I went on a hike in the morning then to ala moana in the afternoon for more curry and mac nut bars. For the evening I went to a Luau.
Sunday I went to hanauma bay, it was very tropical. I saw many brightly colored fish.
Monday I went back to the north shore, specifically waimea bay. The people were cool.
Tuesday I didn't do very much in preparation for my flight home. I watched I am legend, very sad.

Lately I realized that I somehow stumbled into the role of Ford Prefect from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". I acquired a satchel, and I feel like I'm using the guide when I'm using my phone or ipod. All I need now is the ability to flag down a flying saucer and I'll be all set.

Today was my day off, and I was lazy, guilty, hedonistic, went further than I have in a long time, and basically put more into question when I should have been solidifying the tried and true foundations of planning and working for my future.
I want to believe in an open minded society, but there is so little proof and when I do meet people who seem to believe, their reasons are so out of reach it is hard to want to be with them and society. I feel anti-social, and unwanted by others such as the people I meet on the bus, which I take pleasure in since I could be taking the car but I feel like the bus is 'greener'..
Things were pretty weird at some point earlier today. After I gave in to so many of my temptations and just did every even though so many details were not exactly OK, telling myself I only get one day off a week.. Except I feel like I spent more than a week's worth of work already.. So, better end this now before I let myself wallow any longer. It's done, and although I do kind of long to be with other people, I want them to want me.

Long dream where I was at a cottage yearning for attention and/or commitment from the friend but they were more interested in other friends. Interestingly the friend that the dream friend most reminded me of i.r.l. I hadn't talked to in so long and just happened to IM me out of the blue this morning. Last parts were of a smoldering forest, only recalled any after keeping myself hidden.. Shocked out of my skin by this image:

I like to think a possible heaven on earth is after I've solved the problem of finite time and resources I'll be able to create art and novelty, study the science of nature and explore the universe.
Today's thought theme was "the common goal": how other people are useful for helping and how it feels better than average being part of a joint effort. I want to opt-in to people's rules 'cause I want things that happen to erode and I am not clear on how to build bridges.
I want my thought contribution to be excellent it it's own way. I also want to be able to retreat to a place of sustainable stasis whenever and for however long...
Another common goal was the automation of child rearing. Seems that if it would be possible to build a
machine that could read thoughts or put itself in a baby's shoes after we solved the problem of infinite resources for everyone then the only thing the baby could possibly cry about would be wanting other people.

These days I wonder if it might just be me.. Seems like everything's changing.. Maybe I'm just being extra sensitive to the change. Don't get me wrong, I like change, it's just that it invariably begs the question, appealing to one's pride and ego, "How can I control this change so that I'd .."
I still want to be with you, more than so many of the the only things I can know why (?)

It's hard to believe that _I_ could be too hard on my own self, but it's like I make promises to myself, "Oh after this I will let myself buy such-and-such." Which I still think are 'guilty pleasures' when the time comes. I'm all about not giving in to temptation when I'm home, like I'm making up for past crimes all the time. It's not like any amount of work will ever satisfy the guilt, since nothing can change the past.
Ok, more concretely, should I be looking for a better job?

http://www.designboom.com/weblog/index.php
Recently it seems like the ever expanding model of the universe is a particularly fitting metaphor. Now I don't want to sound depressing but it just seems like I'm only every growing further apart from other people, when what I really want is to get closer. I'm also not being chauvinistic when I say I'm not particularly obsessed with one person, I'm not trying to be arrogant by saying all this very stereotypical to me stuff about free love and let's all love each other, relationships can be very serious, what with stds and possible heartbreaks, etc. what with coming from different cultures, etc. Going off topic a little, I had a rather iffy (like this isn't necessarily politically correct and/or might be little too costly for me) feeling from the beginning. It seems like there were more and more something, you'll have to forgive my half attention span due to watching something else.

http://ffffound.com/image/b792d0dac26ac6209e1fd262382b9389d3ddaeb0

http://ffffound.com/image/78d699fa2ca18ff51435b2bac8c282be51592c87

So I want thinking about breathing last night, seems like humans do it, plants do it, but nothing man-made (i.e. machines) do it. Plants and humans complement themselves very well by producing what each other uses, but I think most of the air is still nitrogen. So, if we could build a filter that would separate nitrogen from the air, we could have cars that run on nitrogen in much the same way they use nitro boosts for racing. Then ideally the output would be oxygen and carbon dioxide, so that everyone would be happy! ;)
Also had a nice flying dream last night, flying down the hall of someone's building after doing delivery (even though I haven't worked there in almost 6 months). I knew it was the wrong floor,and something was wrong with my eyes as I flew (my right eye was going out of focus and being crossed, causing me to steering to the left). Something about how pilots' main requirement is 20/20 vision.
Cute

I have a new website (basically migrated my cs@mcgill account) on my computer, which means I don't use a webserver, but on the other hand is only available when my computer's connected to the internet (not that often since I put it to sleep when I'm not around).