It's hard to believe that _I_ could be too hard on my own self, but it's like I make promises to myself, "Oh after this I will let myself buy such-and-such." Which I still think are 'guilty pleasures' when the time comes. I'm all about not giving in to temptation when I'm home, like I'm making up for past crimes all the time. It's not like any amount of work will ever satisfy the guilt, since nothing can change the past.
Ok, more concretely, should I be looking for a better job?